The Magic of a Support System

September 3, 2021

iTunes | Spotify

Does it feel like you are doing everything on your own? Do you feel like you are carrying the entire weight of your relationships, business, and personal life? There’s a huge secret that all the most successful women know.

Here it is: they don’t do it all on their own.

In this week’s episode, Crystal dives into the different levels of support she gets in her business and life, and how you can call in the support that you need.

Note: Below is a transcript of the podcast, edited for readability. This content was intended for audio and may contain errors.

Crystal Irom:

Hello. Hello. Hello. It’s Crystal here. And I have a different episode for you today. I’m going to talk about something that I haven’t really discussed that much. So, the other week I had an amazing episode with Kelsey Aida. I freaking love Kelsey. She’s so awesome. And in that episode there was a short portion where she coached me a little bit. And one of my listeners sent me a DM and she was like, “It was so cool hearing you be coached by Kelsey, because I just don’t even think of coaches being coached. I’ve never thought of like you being coached.”

And it was so interesting to me because I get a lot of coaching. I get a lot of support. And one of the ways that I think of support is coaching. And I realized that it’s not something I talk about a ton. So, of course, she wouldn’t know what kind of support that I get.

Here’s the thing though, I really believe in coaching. I’m not a coach just for kicks and giggles. It wasn’t the only career I could think of. I really believe in the power of coaching. And so, investing in coaching and masterminds and courses is something that I do regularly. And then, I also get support in my life overall. So, I want to just talk about that a little bit. I’m going to give some specifics some of the people that I love learning from that I’m currently learning from and getting coached by and just break it all down.

So, there’s a couple of different levels of coaching or support. Okay. So, I’m going to tell you how I think of them.

Courses and Programs

So, the first thing is courses or programs. So, a course would be someone has put together a certain amount of content and I get to go through that content. I have the privilege of learning a particular thing from a particular person, and there’s a good chance that they also put out a lot of free content somewhere. So, maybe I’ve been learning from them in some other context for some long period of time. And then, I’m like, “I want to take this deeper.”

So, the difference between a course and a podcast or someone who has an extensive YouTube channel or someone who does a lot of content on Instagram or TikTok or any of those other places is that in a course it’s going to be laid out in a way that it’s easy for me to digest and get results from. Right? That’s going to be the biggest difference. For example, I have a podcast. I put out content every week. And I have for a long time. There are, I don’t know, 70 something episodes of Rise in Love. And I know some of you listen religiously. You’re like, “I’ve heard every single episode from the beginning until now. I’ve heard every single thing that you’ve said.” Some people go in and out. They just pick the episodes that sound interesting or they only listen to the solo episodes or they only listen to the episodes with guests and everything in between. Right?

The difference between listening to my podcast and going through my course is that the information is going to be laid out in a clear way. So, I have had women tell me. “Crystal, I listened to your podcast religiously and I meant the love of my life just from your podcast.” And I am ecstatic about that. I love, love, love to hear that. It makes me absolutely positively thrilled. I think it’s beautiful and I love it.

And a lot of women are not going to experience the same results. The women who just listen to my podcast and are able to get coupled up, they’re really listening and they’re implementing. They are treating the podcast as if it’s a course. Right? Which is great for people who do that and can get that kind of result. That’s fantastic. And that is why this exists.

Whenever someone tells me, “Oh, your work is too expensive. Your courses are so expensive. Your coaching is too expensive.” I’m like, “Love you, but don’t care, because I have put out enough content that you can meet your person just by listening to my podcast. Just by listening to my podcast and reading what I write on Instagram. There’s enough there for you.” Right?

So, it’s like when someone says that, I just don’t care. I give everything away. I’ve given you so much. So, that particular feedback it just doesn’t phase me, right? But then there’s that difference. So, when we can look at that like a hierarchy. We start with the free content – that’s like the podcast, Instagram. Then, we have my courses.

I have a couple of courses. My main course is The School of Manifesting Love. That is the course that you’ve heard me speak about the most. That’s the course that I really recommend for most women. That is what I consider my signature course, because it really lays out my whole method. Right? So, that’s The School of Manifesting Love. It’s a six-module course.

And it’s amazing. And it’s really designed and created so that you can go through that and have what you need. And it’s awesome. I have a couple of smaller courses. I have Becoming Magnetic, which is a much smaller course that I offer. And I have Date like a Duchess, which is another smaller course that I offer.

So, Date like a Duchess, I like really don’t talk about it. It’s probably the most underrated thing that I have. Date like a Duchess is a course and it was really created from inspiration. I got this just intuitive hit, download, whatever you want to call it. And it came to me so clearly, and so vividly and when I put it on, I was just like, “Ah, this is really good.”

So, Date like a Duchess really is for someone who knows that their standards are too low when it comes to dating. For someone who knows there’s a better way to date, there’s a better way for me to approach this. I am not attracting the kind of men that I want. And they really want to step into that next-level version of themselves. Right? To go from dating like a commoner, which is sort of what I refer to the women before they make this transition to dating like a Duchess. And I give an example of a Duchess. And it’s not Megan. It’s not Kate. It is so good.

So, they look at that just like I said, probably the most underrated thing that I have. And also, if you’re someone who wants a little history lesson along with your dating content, this is so perfect for you. I can’t even tell you. But the example that I give is a real-life example from the royal family and is just so perfect, and you’ll never think about the way men approach love the same. You’ll just see it totally differently.

And then, Becoming Magnetic is sort of the high-level overview of the same process that I use, but this was basically the very first thing I created in my business. So, it’s just been updated a lot and really put together in a much clearer way, and that’s where The School of Manifesting Love comes in. But the Becoming Magnetic bundle is fantastic. It really gives that clear first step understanding of what manifesting is. Okay.

So, those are like my courses. Right? And the difference between my courses and my free content is that they’re laid out in a way that I think makes it easy to digest. They’re also pared down. Right? For some people, you listen to the podcast in the car or when you’re on a run or when you’re working out or whatever it is that you’re doing, when you’re doing the dishes, cleaning your apartment, whatever. It’s nice being able to listen.

Some people, for one, don’t like listening to things that much, and the thought of listening to 80 hours of a podcast sounds terrible to them. They’re like, “I cannot think of anything worse.” So, they have a much clearer way of digesting information. Also, in the courses there are workbooks, there are exercises, here’s your homework. Right?

A lot of the podcast is like the what. What do you need to do differently? What’s going on here? And the why. Whereas the course is much more of the how. So, personally, I love courses. I think courses are really fantastic. And I think you have to know who you are. You have to know what level of support you need. Everything, I’m going to talk about I invest in all of these. Okay. So, courses I think are great.

Some of the people who have, it’s going to be relevant and irrelevant depending on who you are. The kind of things that I’m learning about, I’m not taking a lot of courses on manifesting love right now, because I have manifested love. I don’t feel like this is something I need to learn about. But if you’re listening to the podcast, there’s a good chance that is something you’re thinking about, right? So, maybe The School of Manifesting Love is something that you might want to look into.

For me, some of the courses that I purchased this year. I bought a program called Manifesting Dream Body by Tara Brunet.

And that’s all about manifesting your dream body. Right? Manifesting love, I got it down. I can teach this all day long. I had a baby in December 2020, and I felt like my body was different. And I was being really hard on myself. And I was like, “You know what? I need support in this area. I need a mindset shift in this area.” So, I purchased Manifesting Dream Body. It’s a great course. I absolutely love it. And it’s been really helpful for me to think about my body differently.

I take a lot of courses about money mindset, about business, because I am running a business here. And as much as I get manifestation when it comes to relationships to dating, there are times where I get tripped up with my mindset around money. I was able to understand the love aspect so perfectly. Once it clicked. It really clicked. And I was like, “Oh my god. I get this.” The money part has been much slower.

Now, I’m definitely getting it and my business is growing in a massive way. I’ve definitely had the most business growth this year than I ever have. And I would say that part of that is due to some of these things that I’ve learned. Some of the people that I love learning from like, Amanda Frances. You may have heard me mention Amanda Frances in the past because I was on her retreat in Bali when I decided to switch from career coaching to love coaching. She was one of the people who really was like, “You’re obsessed with love. You are really good at talking about love, why aren’t you coaching people around love?” And that was such a good push for me.

A woman that I met on that retreat, her name is Sara Dann. She’s a business coach. She is very straightforward, very no-nonsense, which I really appreciate sometimes. So, Sara Dann is someone I’ve learned from.

And then, another woman who I met on that retreat is Julia Wells. Julia is someone who I would consider a friend. We vacation together, and she’s also been a client of mine. She’s now in a really amazing relationship, but I’ve also learned from her. I took a course from her. It wasn’t this year, technically, I guess I signed up towards the end of 2020, but she has a course called Social Media Seductress. And it’s really about social media and having more fun with your social media and infusing pleasure into your business, and your social media. And so, those were some of the courses that I took that I’ve really gotten a lot out of.

Masterminds

Another thing that you’ll hear people talk about are masterminds. Okay. So, we’ve courses on one level, and then we have masterminds. Now, it’s interesting, because mastermind’s a word that’s thrown around a lot. And I also use that word and sometimes when people say mastermind they really mean group coaching. Most people use the words pretty interchangeably. I, personally, also use them interchangeably.

A true mastermind would sort of be, I don’t want to say like without a leader, but kind of without a leader. It’s like a mastermind, the idea that everyone is able to sort of contributing to the other people. Right? So, some masterminds are true masterminds, but a lot of masterminds are really group coaching.

My masterminds are really group coaching. When I run a mastermind, I am coaching everyone. So, the way that I do my masterminds is you get content, you get access to The School of Manifesting Love and anything else that’s relevant, and then I coach everyone who’s in the program every week. Now, the big jump between a course and a mastermind would be that you get that coaching really regularly, really frequently at a very high level. Right? And I keep my masterminds limited.

Some masterminds could have like 100 people. My masterminds are around 10. I’ve done them as small as three, but it’s different because then it’s like I really get to know you. I really get to know you. I really get to understand you. I get to really sort of dig in with you. It’s very close and intimate in a similar way that one-on-one coaching is, because I’m actually understanding you and speaking to you on a very regular basis.

Now, here’s what I think is awesome about a mastermind or a group coaching program, even over one-on-one. Masterminds are awesome because you get to get to know the other women who are in the program, and also you get to benefit from their questions, and their coaching, which I just think is really, really powerful, because sometimes there’s things that we’re struggling with, and we wouldn’t know how to articulate them or wouldn’t think to articulate them. And then, someone else says, “This is the thing that I’m struggling with.” And you’re like, “Oh my god. This has always been a thing for me too and I could never recognize it in myself.”

So, it’s just very cool when someone else brings up something, and you’re like, “Ah, this is actually super relevant for me. I love this.” Also, in my masterminds, we have a chat. And the chat is where a lot of the magic happens. And the chat is a little bit more of a pure or traditional mastermind, because the other women do give more input and feedback when it’s asked for there.

So, everyone can ask their questions, everyone can give feedback. I answer questions there also, obviously, but it’s just nice. It creates a little bit of a community. I know with the last mastermind that I ran, they wanted to continue when the mastermind was officially over. And so, they continued to chat. So, they could really hold on to that community feel, which is awesome. So, that’s the way that I run my masterminds.

Now, I am enrolled in a group coaching/mastermind program right now. And it’s pretty small. And it’s with a woman named Stephanie Synclair. Stephanie Synclair is a friend of mine who I’ve known for several years, and she’s been in the online space forever, like 10 years maybe, which for online coaching is like an eternity just because online coaching hasn’t been a big deal for a long time. So, I am doing Stephanie’s mastermind. It’s like a short-term mastermind. It’s about eight weeks and I’m just very excited. We’re starting this week actually. So, I’m super excited for that.

And then, I also have a peer mastermind. And so, a peer mastermind means that no one’s getting paid. These are a group of women who are also in the love, dating, sex relationship niche. They are all in the same niche as I am. And we meet once a month. And it’s not coaching, because we don’t per se always coach each other, although sometimes we do offer coaching for each other.

It’s more just an opportunity to sort of run things past each other, get feedback, have those sounding boards. And I am obsessed. I really, really love it. The women who are in my mastermind are just some of my favorite people and I really, really look forward to these calls. And so, it’s very, very nice. It’s really awesome to get that support with people who are on my level.

And it’s also just like a good reminder because I think a lot of times it could be easy to feel like you have to be competitive, right? People in the same space, we should be competing with each other, but we don’t. We’re peers, we’re colleagues, and we’re supportive of each other, and we don’t buy into this scarcity mindset. We’re like, “We can support each other knowing that there’s more than enough for all of us.”

So, we started out with what the free content looks like. Here’s what courses look like, and then masterminds is what we’re talking about now. I’m actually currently enrolling my mastermind. So, I call my mastermind Extraordinary Love. And like I said, I call it a mastermind, but it really is more group coaching because I do the coaching.

I’ve run it a couple of different ways in the past, but I’m really, really excited about the way that I’m running it now because I gave it a longer timeline. And there’s a really specific reason I did that. The amount of time, in general, that I have found it takes a majority of women who work with me to go from single to in a really solid relationship fits into this timeline a little bit better. And the reason is that when people first come to me, there’s a lot of mindset shifting being done, there’s a lot of energy mastery that needs to be done.

So, we’re doing some deprogramming. There’s a lot of stuff that needs to be cleared and released, and let go of before you’re able to step into that next level. So, depending on what you’re experiencing and where you are, it takes time for that to happen. Then, we get really clear on what you’re creating and we get you really aligned with it. And that part also takes time.

Then, you start meeting and dating guys that you really like. And you’re like, “Oh my god. I’m meeting a totally different kind of guy. This is so much fun. I’ve never enjoyed dating so much. All of the guys that I meet are so much better than I even thought I could really have.” That takes a little bit of time. And that part is really fun, but you’re still in it. You’re still taking up some time.

And then, go from that point where you’re meeting these really great guys, to actually being like this is the one that I like most. He really likes me also. And then, moving into that committed relationship. Again, that takes a little bit of time.

Now, all of this I’m saying takes a little bit of time, because I don’t think any of it has to take a long time. It doesn’t take a long time, but I have found it really challenging, frustrating, and sad when I work with women, and we don’t make it through all of the phases, and then the program just sort of ends, and they want that ongoing support. And I want to provide that ongoing support.

So, I’ve restructured my mastermind to offer it in such a way that will be possible for more of the women. More of the women are going to have my support as they move through each of these stages into a committed relationship. So, that’s really exciting.

Right now we are right at the beginning of September, and we’ll be starting in a month. This program is starting on October 3rd. But I’m enrolling now, and the spaces are limited. The first few spots are already taken. They were snatched up pretty much immediately. So, this is something you think might be a great fit for you if you’re interested, send me a DM over on Instagram and let’s talk about it.

One-to-One Coaching

The next level of support would be one-on-one. One-on-one is awesome because it’s so individual. Everything is custom for you. I keep my one-on-one practice very small though because I think that there are so many benefits to working with a group. I love my one-on-one clients. They are amazing. It’s super fun. And I think that there’s a lot of benefits of working with a group. I think there’s a lot of benefits of having worked with me in another setting.

So, actually, in the future, there’s a good chance that only people who have gone through, at least, my course, if not my mastermind, will be able to become one-on-one clients. I just think that might be the way that I do it going forward. So, I’m currently working with someone one-on-one. And I actually haven’t hired someone one-on-one in ages. I just felt like it was time. I was ready to get that private support and feedback.

So, I hired Emma Burgess. Emma is from New Zealand. I just think she’s so fun and she’s really good at what she does. And I’ve also taken courses from her.  I really follow the way that people layout their offers, so I can go step by step. With Emma, I followed it pretty much exactly because I joined a couple of her courses, first.

She has this course, I mean she has a bunch of courses, but I joined a program of hers called Abundance Now back in… I don’t remember, February, March. And I loved it. And then, she had a mastermind. I joined the mastermind. Loved it. And now, when I was ready to hire one-on-one, I went back to her. I already knew that I liked her. I liked her style. It seemed like the right fit.

Some people don’t do that. They just go straight to the one-on-one or they go straight into a mastermind. I like really followed the steps with this one because I do invest at all of those levels.

So, those are some of the people that I just, I love learning from, I love getting support from. I just really believe in the power of coaching. I believe it’s important to continue learning. I believe it’s important to always just continue honing our skills, and pursuing those things that interest you. So, I really don’t take that for granted.

And I’ll have to say, here’s the thing. People sometimes are hesitant, because of the money for the most part. I would say that I can’t afford it is probably the most common reason that people give for a lot of things. Now, with my mastermind in my one-on-one, it’s not usually the main thing. Most of them can afford it. It’s just a question of if they want to.

And I can certainly understand because not all things are created equal. I have invested a ton of money in programs that I was just like, “Wow. That was a waste. I didn’t like that. I didn’t get what I expected. It wasn’t what I wanted.” Last year, actually, I had committed to a group coaching program or mastermind, whatever you want to call it. And at the time, it was the biggest expense I’ve ever had in my business. And I’ll just tell you for the sake of transparency. I spent $18,000 on this program.

And I was really disappointed. I am not going to name it, obviously, because I don’t have anything great to say about it, but it was a specific thing that I wanted to do in my business that this program was meant to walk you through. And while it did do that, the amount of time that it forced you to commit, for me, was just exorbitant. It was too long. I didn’t need a year.

I look at this program that was $18,000, and I’m like, “If this had been a course, and I had just gotten the course modules…” Because there were course modules and ongoing coaching. I didn’t find the ongoing coaching particularly valuable. I coached at a very high level. I provide very deep coaching, and not all coaches are like that. I’ve honed my skills over the past years and I have a very specific way of approaching things. And I really like to get deep into the heart of whatever the issue is.

And so, sometimes I encounter coaches that just aren’t at the same level as I am, and the coaching doesn’t serve me well. It doesn’t move me forward. It does not get me unstuck. It does not unblock me. And it’s disappointing. And it’s frustrating. So, that’s how I felt about the coaching that was available in this program.

Now, the content was excellent. The content was really, really good. It was exactly what it said it was. It was exactly what was promised and I was able to do this particular thing that I wanted to do because it was laid out so clearly, very step by step, which I loved. But it was basically four modules, right? There were four modules, and that was helpful. And then, there was this year of coaching that, in my opinion, was pretty useless. It just was not high quality. It was not the kind of world-class coaching that I provide, and that I expect.

So, I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I felt like, “Oh my god. I wasted money.” And I berated myself over that for a little bit, but here’s what I really like to do, and the way that I think is a great idea to approach anything that you’re going to invest in for yourself. It is my responsibility to get everything that I can out of this. And I’m going to focus on the value and the benefits. And I’m going to extract as much of that as I possibly can.

So, that is really my mindset. So, what does that mean? It means that, no, I would not recommend that particular program. I definitely would not invest in it again. And I had to look at how much money have I brought in because of this particular strategy that I learned through this program.

And so, I invested $18,000, and I made that back several times over. And I’m still making money back, because of this particular method all the time. Every single month, I make money, because of this particular investment. So, that means that I have to focus on that.

It was interesting because sometimes I would see people in the group, in the Facebook group for this program that I was not particularly fond of, and they were complaining about it. And they would sort of try to rally people around their cause being like, “Are you getting what you expected? Because for this amount of money, I really expect to be so much better, and the coaching just runs around in circles, and blah-blah-blah-blah.” Just really pissed off.

And I was like, “I get it. I really get it.” It was not a small chunk of money, and for some people, it was a huge chunk of money. And that amount of money was not something that they were fully prepared to release. Right? And that’s the bottom line. They weren’t fully prepared to release that amount of money. And so, to feel like they’ve spent the money, and were not getting exactly what they needed felt like a major, major loss.

So, I totally get that. And I hear that. And I understand that. I was just like, “I have to make a choice right now. Am I going to go down that path where I’m feeling really defeated and frustrated and pissed off and hoping to get vengeance on this person who I thought created this program that was just too expensive for what it was or was I going to get as much out of it as I possibly could and keep it moving?”

And it was just interesting seeing people get into this mindset where they were so stuck, so frustrated, so upset about what had happened that they probably did not get any value out of it, and we’re just left feeling really bad. So, that sucks. No one wants to feel that way. No one wants to experience that.

And with my clients, I hope to combat that by, one, providing very high-quality coaching. My coaching’s top-notch. I think I’m a great teacher. I love teaching. I love talking to all of you on the podcast. And it’s a different thing when I’m coaching someone particularly over a period of time and I can really get to know them. We can really dig in deep.

So, I provide world-class coaching. And also, I want my clients to have the same mindset that I did, which is that it is up to me to get the most out of this that I possibly can. I made an investment in myself and my future in this thing that I desire, and I am choosing to believe that this is the thing that will work for me. This is going to make a major difference for me. So, I’m excited to dig in. When that’s your energy and your mindset, you get so much more out of it.

It was really interesting because this thing that I built for my… I mean I can just say it. It was a funnel. I was able to build a particular type of funnel in my business through this program. And I went through this period, probably, I don’t know, two weeks, where I was feeling particularly resentful and frustrated about the amount that I had invested for what I felt like I would have been lacking, what I felt like I should have gotten that I didn’t get.

The other thing that was upsetting to me was that part of the reason I had signed up was that there were three in-person events. And I felt like the community, the women, the men building businesses at this level would be fun for me to network with. And so, I’d really been looking forward to that component. And then, because of COVID, they were all canceled.

Now, that obviously happens and that wasn’t their fault, but it was a big hit for me. That felt very frustrating. That was really an aspect I’d been looking forward to. And I cannot say that I would have joined if I had known from the beginning that would have never happened. Anyway, so there was this two-week period where I was feeling particularly resentful and frustrated. And it was really interesting because I was experiencing this anger. And I was like my funnel isn’t working. I thought it stopped working.

I thought maybe something got disconnected here, some part of the software isn’t speaking to this other part of the software because I didn’t make any money from it. I had on my to-do list to go through and figure out what the disconnect was. Why is it that it stopped working? What happened? But before I did that, I did some clearing. I did some energetic releasing around the program, and I forgave it and I just shifted my energy. I took my energy from these very low frequencies around this to a much higher frequency.

And I never had to do any of the tech changes, because I got a sale pretty much immediately and was like, “Oh, okay. I guess everything is still connected. It is all working.” And I was focusing on lack. I was focusing on this thing that isn’t working. This thing isn’t working for me. I made a wrong choice. I choose poorly. I can’t trust myself. I’m a victim here. She promised me one thing and she didn’t deliver all of that. I wasted money. Right?

I was focusing on all of those things. “I’m not responsible with money. I don’t deserve money. I’m not good enough with money because I spend it on these things, and then I don’t get a great return. I’m wasteful. I’m wasteful, therefore, I do not deserve money. I’m wasteful, therefore, I’m not worthy of money. It’s not safe for me to have money because if I have money I’m just going to spend it on things and they’re going to be the wrong things.” That’s what I was focusing on. That was where my mindset was and my energy was.

This is what we talk about on this podcast. It’s about manifestation. Of course, I was not manifesting through this thing that I was hating. When I was hating it, when I was hating the way that I’d created, when I was hating the mechanism, when I was hating the whole process, I wasn’t getting the results that I wanted.

So, I was not even thinking that this was going to come back to dating. I was just prepared to talk to you about support, but it’s the same thing when we’re hating dating. When you’re like, “Oh my god. I hate dating so much. It is the worst.” Well, you can hate it all you want, but when you’re hating the process, when you’re hating the thing it’s going to be much more challenging for you to hate the results, and that’s exactly what I was experiencing. As soon as I shifted out of that, it was “working again.” It had never stopped working. My energy was off. And I was blocking the flow.

I wanted to talk a little bit just about the support that I get. So, those are the levels of support that I get in terms of my business. But I want to talk a little bit more about the support outside of the learning that I do. And I think that this is really important because when we are looking at someone on Instagram or we’re just getting these tidbits of people’s lives, and it can feel like, “Well, how does this person get so much done or how are they able to do all of this or it doesn’t make sense, how are they able to do this and I’m not? Why is it so much harder for me?”

First of all, if you’re always asking why is it so much harder for me, that’s going to be what your brain is trying to answer. But I can’t say that like I’m doing this entirely on my own. Yes. I do have a small baby, and that makes things more challenging at times, but I have support. So, I’m going to talk about what I have in my business that helps my business run more smoothly, and then I want to talk about some of the personal support that I have.

Support in my Business

So, in my business, it’s not a huge business. It’s me and some people that really help me. So, I recently hired an Online Business Manager. She is awesome. She really is helping me step more into a CEO role, because I love being a coach. I’ve really, really gotten a strong grasp of being a coach, but some of the things that are not directly related to the coaching and content creating have just been a struggle for me.

And so, the woman that I hired, she has the strengths that I’m lacking, right? When I was telling her about some of the things that needed to be done, she’s like getting giddy. She was like, “Oh this is going to be so fun.” Right? The organizing of things and creating systems and recording these details. I’m like, “Oh, cringe. This is my worst nightmare.” And she’s like, “Oh, this is really fun.”

And that’s perfect. Right? That’s exactly what you need when you’re getting support. You want to have support from people who want to do the things that you don’t want to do or people who are excellent at the things that you are not excellent at. And she is all of that. She is excellent in things that I’m not excellent at. She’s thinking ahead. She’s a contractor, not an employee, but she thinks like someone who is on a team. Right?

I have had contractors where it’s like, “I’m going to do exactly what I’m told and absolutely not an inch further.” That’s sort of the attitude. Like, “Let me just get paid.” And obviously, she wants to get paid. She’s not doing it for charity. But she takes the attitude of like, “I’m helping someone build a business.” Right? She’s obviously thinking longer term, knowing that I have a business that’s growing and that her role can expand, and that can be great for both of us.

So, if you ever email me about something or if my student emails me about something, for some things, I will see them, for some things, I’ll never see them. My OBM sees them and she’ll deal with them. And if it’s something that just asked me about, she’ll ask me, and she can deal with it from there. But she always signs her own name, so let me just say that. If you message me, and then it comes back from Crystal, it’s coming back from me. She doesn’t pretend to be me.

So, that’s like a newer development. She just helps with a lot of things that are going to help the company run more smoothly going forward. Right now she’s doing a lot of putting systems in place. So, that as I work with more people or as people grow into their roles with me, they know what to do. And I don’t have to spend as much time training someone walking them through everything.

So, I also have a virtual assistant in my business. She is awesome at what she does. She does a lot of my graphics for me. She does a lot of my landing pages. If you’ve ever signed up for a free challenge or my webinar or a free three-day event, she has put it all together. I write my own copy, but she’ll be the one who puts it on the page and gets it all hooked up.

The reason that you’re able to sign up for a free event, and then you’re taken to a page where you’re given an offer for something, and then you receive an email that says, “Welcome to the free event. Here are the details.” That’s because of my VA. She’s the one who puts all of that together. The words are my own, but she’s the one who makes it run. And she does all sorts of other things also, but that’s a big part. It’s just making sure everything is hooked up.

I also have a social media manager and she is the one who actually does my posting. So, again, I write all my own content, but I have someone else who does the posting. And there’s a reason for that. And again, it’s about knowing what your strengths are, knowing what your blind spots are.

One of my strengths is creating content. I create content that is unique, that doesn’t sound like everyone else, and that puts a different spin on stuff. I know that I’m very good at taking very esoteric concepts and making them digestible. I know that I have a very strong, clear voice. And I don’t mean my speaking voice. I mean the voice of my content. People can try to write content that sounds like me, but it’s not going to sound quite like me. I have a very distinct voice. Those are strengths of mine, not strengths, consistency.

So, a lot of the things that I get support for are the things that are going to help me have consistency. So, my social media manager, she helps with consistency. Because she can get a bunch of content from me and she can make sure that it goes out, even if I’m having a time where I’m not being consistent or she can repurpose something that I’ve already done.

I also have an amazing team that helps me with the podcast. I record content or I take something that I’ve done. Sometimes it’s a live stream that I’ve done or different things like that, and there is an amazing team that edits it and puts it all together and makes sure it goes up. And again, a big part of the reason that I pay them every month is that they are excellent at things that I’m not great at.

Could I figure out how to get a podcast edited and put up? Probably, I’m smart. I have the internet, but it’s not worth it to me. It’s worth it to me to have someone who knows how to do that, who does it all the time, who does it perfectly. It’s like the things that I could do, it might take me ages to do, and they have a system. They have a down path. They know exactly what to do.

And the other thing is, again, it helps with the consistency. My podcast manager will send me a message, if it’s been late and is like, “You need to send me some audio. We don’t have anything.” It’s like I’m sure she wishes that I just had it already, but I get those reminders, and then I do it. And then, all of you get to hear my voice every week. So, you’re welcome and thank you to my amazing podcast team. I’m very, very grateful.

So, in some ways, I’m this one-woman show, because I am the face of my brand and I’m the only one who does the coaching and I create all of the content. But then I have these people that make it so that I’m able to do the coaching, and the teaching, and the content creation. If I didn’t have my podcast team to put out my podcast, I would have to spend probably a full day. That’d probably be like a full day in my week.

So, my podcast comes out on Thursday, so that means that probably on Wednesdays, would just be full podcast days for me. And I would have to do every aspect of it. With my social media, that would be like I would have to create all of the content, and then I would probably have to spend a full day each week making the graphics and making sure everything’s formatted right and making sure everything is posted. So, that would be another day. So, it’s like already two days of my week would be spent doing things that someone else is already so much better at. Right? Someone else is so much better at.

And why would I do that? There are things that I’m great at. Right? My social media manager isn’t trying to coach my clients and it’s not because I’m better than her. It’s that I am great at this particular thing. She is better at a particular thing, and everyone gets to have their strengths. And it just makes everything more fun. It allows me to save energy and focus on the things that I love doing, and then I’m great at.

Now, does that mean I never have to do things that I don’t like to do? No. It doesn’t. Sometimes I do have to do things that I don’t like to do that I’m not great at. Sometimes I want something done at a very particular time and I’m being too much of a control freak to let it go, and so I have to figure out and I get it done.

It’s not ideal. It does happen, but not too much. But then, there are some things where if I didn’t have people supporting me it wouldn’t get done. Chances are if I didn’t have someone holding me accountable with the podcast reminding me when I haven’t sent over new audios, getting that all setup, it would probably fall to the wayside. As you all know, there was a large gap, there was a big break, and that was not because my team let me down, it was because I didn’t have the energy to record content.

So, all this is to say, support is amazing. Whatever support that you need, that to me is always a priority. Now, you may not be like me. I am someone who needs a lot of support to get stuff done. I don’t run 24/7. I run in bursts. I’ll have bursts of energy where I can get a lot of stuff done, and the support that I get allows me to create that way and operate that way, and still make the kind of money that I want to live the kind of lifestyle I want and spend time with my family.

Speaking of spending time with my family, I also want to mention the kind of support that I have at home. So, I have an eight-month-old baby girl. And she’s amazing. She’s the cutest human that ever lived. And she’s a lot of freaking work. I know you moms know this. Your kid is probably your favorite person in the world or your kids, they’re your favorite. They’re the best. They’re so cute and funny and just wonderful.

And they’re super exhausting. It’s a lot of work. And some women, for them, taking care of their kids all day is what they want to do. That’s what they want to do. That’s how they want to live. It’s their favorite thing. And I say, “Hats off to you queens, because that is not me.” That is not my life.

My life is, I like working. I want to work. I think it’s fun. When I get DMs from you all saying, “Oh, I love this week’s episode of the podcast. It really resonated with me or I recommended it to my mom. I recommended it to my friends or I did what you said and I got a boyfriend.” I love that. It makes me really happy.

So, I have this child whom I adore, and she makes me happy, and there are other things in my life that I also really enjoy doing. So, all that being said, I have a nanny. We have a woman who comes in five days a week, and she looks after my baby girl so that I’m able to work. She is with her right now. They are out on a walk, probably having the time of Eliza’s life. And I’m recording this podcast.

And I really had to claim this for myself, not because my husband had objections, but because I had to admit, “this is something I need help with”. When she was first born, I didn’t have any help. And moms will know this, when they’re newborns, it’s extremely hard, not because of anything about them per se, but because you don’t get enough sleep. That’s a big, challenging thing. I think that having a newborn, not having sleep is the hardest part.

And so, I didn’t have any help, and my husband was out much of the day working. And I was home with the baby all day. And I was becoming pretty unhappy. I wasn’t having anything that allowed me to feel like myself essentially. And hiring a nanny really helped with that because early on, it meant that I had time to take a leisurely shower. I had time to take a nap.

I wasn’t just like sitting around disgusting all day serving this baby. I had help. I had someone to take her off my hands for hours at a time, which was a game-changer. Now, my baby’s a lot more fun. She’s a lot more fun and a lot cuter because that’s what happens. Newborns are… I mean they’re wonderful. Thank god for them, but they get a lot cuter and a lot more fun.

Now, she’s eight months and she’s just amazing. She’s super funny and fun to be around. And still, I’m not playing with her all day. So, we have this awesome nanny, and she’s out playing with her. And I know my baby is safe and taken care of and being well-loved, and I’ll get to hang out with her in a couple of hours when I’m done working.

So, we do have a nanny, and then we also have a housekeeper who comes once a week. So, we don’t live in a large house. We live in an apartment. It’s, I don’t know, under 2000 square feet, 1700, 1600. I don’t know. Something like that. And frankly, we don’t even use a lot of it. We don’t really use the back. We have a back room that we really don’t use, anyway, I digress.

We also have a housekeeper who comes once a week. And she does the deep cleaning of everything.  She cleans the windows. She cleans the bathroom. She cleans the kitchen. Now, obviously, the kitchen’s cleaned most days, most days the dishes need to get done. Most days a certain level of tidying up is done, but she comes once a week, and we can be sure that everything is properly cleaned.

She also folds the laundry, she’s just awesome. She does a lot of those things because again, it’s not that I can’t do them, but there’s things that I love doing, and that I’m much better at. Now, for some of you, cleaning it’s like meditation for you. I know for some people they can get really a lot of enjoyment and relaxation and pleasure from cleaning, in which case, don’t hire a housekeeper. If you’re loving it, enjoy.

Again, it’s just about what are the things that you actually want support around? What do you want someone to help you do? And that’s exactly how I have gone about getting the support that I need.

Now, let me make the caveat. For you, women, who are business owners who are listening to this, you entrepreneurs, you other coaches, this is not a here’s how to build a team, because I don’t think that is a place of mastery for me. I know it’s not. It’s something that I’m learning and I’m growing into. And I’ve happened to get lucky, I think, I mean honestly, I do feel like some of it is luck. Some of the people that I’ve connected with who have helped me have just been awesome and it wasn’t because I had some super intensive process for finding them.

My podcast team is the same podcast team I’ve had since I started the podcast. They were the people that I hired when I was like, “I’m thinking of doing a podcast. Can you help me?” It’s the same people. And they have just happened to be amazing. And so, they’re with me for a few years. My VA, also, has been with me for years. It just happens to be that when we were put together when we found each other, I don’t even remember how I connected with her. It happened to be that it has just worked out.

I haven’t had a turnover of VAs. I’ve had the same VA and she gets how I work and she knows how I like things done, and it’s just been really easy. And I hope that the other people in my team will also be with me for a long time. I’m not someone who likes in and out. I’m a Taurus. I like things to just be the same for as long as possible. I’m a Taurus and I’m also a Virgo moon. So, steadiness, that down to earth, that’s very much me.

I hope you enjoyed hearing this sort of inside scoop into the kind of support that I have. At this point, I have a business that’s… I would say on track for like a quarter of a million. So, that’s awesome. For some people, that’s really huge, and they’d be like, “Wow. I would be so excited if my business ever reached that level.” And for some people, it’s like, “Wow. You’ve been doing this for years, what are you doing wrong? You’re not making enough.” Right?

For me, it feels great. It’s good. It’s solid. It’s growing. It’s getting better. It’s improving. And as I improve, my ability to work with my team and communicating with them, and getting these processes in place so that things can move along more smoothly, I’m sure I’ll make more money. And it’ll go better and better. And it’ll get easier and easier and everything will improve from there.

The point is, you don’t have to do everything on your own. And if there’s something that you want support around, then make it a priority to get support, whether that is a course, whether that is a mastermind, whether that’s one-on-one coaching, whether that’s a team member in your business, whether that is someone supporting you at home.

And oh my gosh. Wow. I can’t believe I was about to conclude this without even mentioning the absolute biggest support that I have. Oh my god. Now, I’m going to cry. My husband, Kobi. Oh my god. He is my absolute biggest support in everything. Wow. I really could cry thinking about it, because he is my emotional support a lot of times. He is my tech support a lot of times. He is my, “Babe, you’re being crazy. You need to go rest.”

Sometimes he is my, “We need to have some fun. Let’s go out.” I’ve referred to him as my chief pleasure officer, because he is the one who’s like, “Let me draw you a bath. You’re doing too much. You’re getting crazy,” or he’s the one who’s saying, “You hired someone to do this for you, why are you doing that right now? Stop it.” Everyone on my team has interacted with him at one time or another because he has some of those strengths that I really don’t.

This is going to sound so stupid and basic, but one of the things that I can’t stand doing is the little transition steps, the go-between things. So, right now I’m recording this podcast. My team has made it so easy for me, because all I have to do is record the podcast. Someone else does everything else, but I’m recording this podcast on my computer, right? And then, I have to open up a program and drop the audios in so that my team can have it.

And it’s so simple. It’s so simple. It doesn’t take 30 seconds. It does not take 30 seconds, and sometimes I just can’t get myself to do it. Right? And it’s just resistance. We all have resistance sometimes. It’s just resistance, but I get resistance around those little things. They drive me nuts. So, right now as soon as I finish recording this, I’m immediately going to open up that program and I’m going to drop it in so that my podcast manager doesn’t get mad at me. But it’s things like that where I slow myself down and I get stuck, and sometimes Kobi will have to jump in and be like, “Go decompress. You’re getting crazy because that only took 10 seconds.”

So, my husband, he’s amazing. I’m very grateful. He’s a very hands-on dad. If he’s not out, then a lot of times in the mornings, because the nanny comes in the afternoon. So, a lot of times in the mornings, if he doesn’t have to go to work, then he’s hanging out with the baby and I get time in the morning to journal and have some lemon water and meditate or whatever it is. So, I also have a very supportive husband, which I do not take for granted. And I really appreciate him, because he’s awesome and super helpful.

So, that’s the happy half over here. Lots of support, only going to be more support. I get to be more supported, and that’s something that I have to remind myself. I get to be supported and I think that’s something, if you’re someone who struggles with receiving, struggles accepting or asking for support, you can tell yourself that also I get to be supported, I get to have help, I don’t have to do it on my own, because that’s really the truth. You do not have to do it on your own. You get to have support, and you can have as much or as little feels right to you.

I really hope that you love this. I hope that was helpful for you. I always like getting sort of the behind-the-scenes sneak peeks, what’s really going on with someone sort of thing. So, I trust that you enjoyed it also. If you want my support, I’m currently enrolling my mastermind. It is Extraordinary Love. It’s for extraordinary women who know that they’re meant for extraordinary love and it’s going to be extraordinary. It’s going to be freaking awesome.

So, if you want the details on that, send me a DM over on Instagram, and let’s get you in love. I mean this is really for the women who it’s like, “I know I want love, I know I’m ready for love, I am used to getting things my way. In my life, I like having the best of the best. I know exactly what I want, and for this, I want the best of the best. I want support from the best of the best. I am ready for that high level support to really call in the love that I desire.” Right?

If that is you, then this is the program for you. This is for the woman who is ready to step into her next level self and really manifest an amazing, amazing relationship with an incredible man, someone kind, someone warm, someone sexy, someone ambitious, someone you can really feel like is on your level, and you can build a life with.

So, if that is what you want, hit me up, and let’s discuss. All right, and that’s all I have for you today. I hope this served you well. I love you so much. And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Thanks for listening. Check out the show notes and be sure to tune in next time to the Rise In Love Podcast.

In the meantime, make sure to check out some other episodes like Mastering Manifestation in Love with Kelsey Aida. 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.