It wasn’t until I realized I wasn’t recognizing my value, that I was maintaining weak—or virtually nonexistent—standards and boundaries, and that I wasn’t clear on what I desired. (Even once I was clear, I wasn’t sure I could have it.) I had to learn that I could choose to live my life differently.
Finding “the one” and my “soulmate” were concepts that failed me repeatedly, driving me to stay in unhealthy patterns and codependent relationships. The natural pattern of rejection and chasing guys who didn’t want to be with me, nearly convinced me I was unlovable.
But I wouldn’t change my experiences: They helped teach me everything I know now.
Here’s the thing, the best coaches and mentors are not the people who have the most in common with you and tell you what you want to hear, rather they might be quite the contrarian and push hard on some of those long-cemented stories you tell yourself, partnering with you and fighting alongside you to see you become the best, healthiest, strongest version of yourself. In fact, if what you're looking for is someone to commiserate with about how horrible men are and how hard dating is these days and on and on, then I'm definitely not the coach for you. That's just not my style.
That said, while I can be quite tough (What can I say? I’m a Taurus) and I’m not afraid of an honest conversation, I’m not always in coaching mode, sometimes I’m just Crystal.
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