February 11, 2019
Ugh! It’s so frustrating that the guys you’re SO into seem to want to play games, but the ones you don’t like are ALL about you. Well, it’s not random. Here are three reasons it keeps turning out that way…
There is nothing more attractive than someone being fully themselves. And I mean not just yourself, but that best version of you who feels confident, at ease, and has no expectations. But if you’re like a lot of women, you show up that way when you don’t actually care how someone else perceives you. It’s easy to feel like, “this is me, take it or leave. But you’d be crazy to leave it.”
When you’re feeling yourself, others are gonna feel you too. But someone can’t fall in love when they don’t actually see you.
Often, those guys that you reeeeeally like. They just can’t see you. You’re too busy contorting yourself into a pretzel (or whatever else he likes) trying to get him to like you.
While it can be flattering when someone wants to impress you, it’s not compelling or attractive.
Secure men approach dating with a much more laid back attitude than the majority of women. But seriously, it’s not your fault that you’re eager to meet your match. We’re literally built for it (yes, even if you have zero interest in getting married or having kids, the instincts are still there).
So it’s like just because of our instincts, there’s an un-level playing field between men and women.
Except with guys you don’t like. You don’t want him to be the one, so you’re cool as a cucumber. Relaxed, confident, at ease.
And that energy is magnetic. That’s the energy that naturally draws him right in, while giving him lots of space to pursue you.
If you really like someone, you’re focused on what you can get.
How can I get him to like me?
How can I get him to show up for me?
How can I get him to commit?
How can I get his time, energy, and attention?
You know how it feels gross when someone is looking at you for what they can get from you? As if you have something that they’re trying to take?
Well, guys can feel the same thing, and they don’t like it either.
You probably don’t even realize that you’re doing most of these things. And it’s not your fault, you’re not taught how to approach dating authentically, happily, and with a relaxed confidence.